The Five friends we all have

 

 

It has been noted, mainly by men, that I spend a great deal of time on my blog judging members of the opposite sex. In fact, one delightful gentleman once commented that he would never date me as I would probably write about him, to which my other friend chimed in “only if you’re a dickhead,” which made me happy. Obviously, I did later write about him, but that is absolutely beside the point. In an attempt not to allow for my writing to get stale I thought this week I would take a slightly different tack and write about the five (female) friends we all absolutely have.

  1. The Crazy One

Don’t get me wrong – all girls are crazy, at least a little bit. Particularly when we like a guy. However, there is quite clearly a line that the majority of us won’t cross – we might Facebook stalk going back to 2010 and we would probably work out who his ex-girlfriend was going on the minimal information we have been offered, but we wouldn’t like rummage through his rubbish to find old back statements. That’s the line….for most of us. However, I know a number of girls who have done unspeakable things in the name of boys, their job, their family etc…These are “the crazy ones” – frankly I like to keep on them tap, because they always make you feel a little less nuts when shit hits the fan.

  1. The bitch

The bitch, in my experience, normally takes a little time to come out of her shell. At first the bitch is effervescent, she is lively, she is the most fun in the room and you genuinely want to spend time with her. However, slowly, slowly, once she has ensnared you in her trap she will unleash the full force of her bitchiness and you will be left reeling and quivering in the corner. Of course, bitch is clever and won’t let you go quite that quickly….ladies in my opinion these leopards will never change their spots. Run far and run fast.

  1. The flaky one

There are friends, I swear to god, who I make plans with and simply wait for them to cancel. They will always have a good reason of course, another excuse to schlep out their back pocket so you don’t feel like an afterthought. Friends like this is quite possibly why most girls have gym memberships – with, now, plenty of time to get out our frustration.

  1. The one who disappears

Literally I have friends I won’t speak with for months, and I mean months. And then suddenly out of the blue they will message me wanting to meet up – this type of friend is then split into two categories. They will either then ignore your follow up message (which is really just the height of rudeness in my opinion) or arrange a meeting for like a month in the future after which time you won’t hear from them for another few months and so the cycle continues.

  1. Your actual friends

To be honest I don’t have a huge number of these, a fact which often makes me a little concerned, but I guess is pretty normal. These are the ones who are properly there for you, which isn’t to say your relationship will be perfect or something out of Sisterhood of the travelling pants – but it will be authentic, genuine, and something worse holding onto as opposed to a slot to fill an empty looking week.

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